Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Phase 1: Discipline

So I've been mulling over my life lately and how totally unfocused I have been. I'm literally living each day at a time, and in some cases that can be a good thing. But at some point, I need some sort of routine in my life. I don't want to be totally rigid, unable to be flexible or change my plans but my kids (and I) need a schedule of some sort! Well I've been praying a lot about it trying to figure out how to take on this massive work load that I have been ignoring, avoiding, and just plan not dealing with. And in my defense, I am slowing tackling all the things on my list. Having a meal plan and groceries to match is definitely a step in the right direction. But now that I have that covered, whats next?

Well the thing that's got my mind all tied up right now is not being happy with my weight. Now I'm not obese but I am not where I need to be either! Its very frustrating because I'm not big enough for Plus sizes but I'm not small enough for normal stores. And my last baby is 1 year old and I'm still wearing maternity clothes because I'm too self-conscious about my saggy belly to wear anything else. So a little while ago, my mom gave me a book, Never Say Diet by Chantel Hobbs. This woman is quite an inspiration! I heard her talk a few times on Focus on the Family radio show. At 29 years old, she had a husband who loved her, a couple of kids, weighed 350lbs, and loved baking and eating. She tried every "lose weight quick" diet and realized that if you don't keep buying their foods, taking their pills, and paying them money those diets just didn't work (another conspiracy I'm convinced of). She finally hit her breaking point and made the decision that she wasn't going to live like that anymore. She then took the next step towards making herself better. First by establishing an exercise routine, then by changing her approach to food. It didn't happen overnight but eventually she lost 200lbs and is now a personal trainer, spin instructor and motivational speaker/writer. Its an excellent read! I recommend it to anyone who is having my same motivational issues.

Well last night, I was sitting in my bed feeling sorry for myself and that book was sitting on my bedside table. So I decided to open it back up to the page I had bookmarked several months ago. It was "Phase 1: Get a move on!" DING! DING! DING! ah now I see why I stopped reading. Oh man, the excuses I can make-up for reasons not to get off my behind and workout! Earlier in the book she says "We gain weight through a series of poor choices made on a regular basis over a long period of time." But in this chapter she says "I succeeded because I finally committed to doing things that made me uncomfortable, and I did them long enough that I became comfortable doing them."

The thing that got she got me with was DISCIPLINE! Whenever I hear that word I cringe, I always saw it as a spanking, yelling, or a reprimand of some sort. While that can be a form of discipline, its by definition: training. She says, "Discipline is a learned behavior pattern", something I struggle with on a daily basis. I mean even down to washing my face consistently, I'm just not a consistent person. Always flying by the seat of my pants! And that is NO WAY TO LIVE! Especially when you have kids needing you to discipline and teach them. How can I set a good example if I can't even discipline myself?! So my first step in disciplining myself is to set my priorities and make some goals (that just sounds like torture to me... why is that?). One of those goals is going to be to follow her plan to get myself in a exercise routine; 30 minutes of cardiovascular activity, 5 days a week for 4 weeks. Now, here's my problem... in high school I was always working out and not just simple run or play a sport; NO! rigorous, grueling, painful workouts that would last for hours a day. I despised it, I grew to HATE sports! And when I was free of my commitments, I stopped working out and never looked back. But now I have to retrain the way I look at fitness because it doesn't HAVE to be that! It can be enjoyable I just have to find my balance.

I can't afford a gym membership right now and I don't have a double stroller, so today I put my Zumba game into my Wii while the kids were napping and I danced for 30 minutes straight. I always loved dancing (I use to dance 5 hours a day in college, but actually enjoyed it)! And while it did hurt a bit because to be honest I haven't been moving very much lately (other than household cleaning, I suppose and even that's debatable), I feel accomplished! Now for the hard part, keeping myself accountable to GET UP AND MOVE every other day this week!

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